I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think a kid would responsible me up
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
