I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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