My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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