ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
