I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
