so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He shit in the fireplace
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
