In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
