I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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