Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How external is "for external use only"?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
