kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am available for nakedness
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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