I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
