apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
