So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
