Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
