i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
