tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it was like eating out sand paper
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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