A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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