In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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