wrigley field is MILF paradise
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
