Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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