i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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