Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
