i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I still have a little drunk in my system
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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