I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
