yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just pee around me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
