Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
