I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
PANTIES FOUND
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
