Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
