He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
