Pappa wants mamma naked
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
