If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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