Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize