Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
