I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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