Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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