There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
