She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
