so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
