whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
