just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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