I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
