You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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