im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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