david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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