It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
