oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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