i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
