if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize