alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize