oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
