Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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