So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
