My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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