I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize