love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
