I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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