maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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