so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
