she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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