? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I cannot find my penis.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
