Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
