you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
