smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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