Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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