I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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