I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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